Old Gazelle-Legs.

I'm dealing with it. Unexpectedly.

I had so much fun at Starscape that it should be illegal...oh, wait. Haha. Seeing Keith was all too excellent and I was depressed for a bit after he was gone. I started cocktailing at Bridges, it's going very well. If Friday's could get my new scheduale correct that'd be fabulous, though.

Not gonna lie, the gorgeous creature who likes to tell everyone that I suck dick for coke is really getting tiresome. I feel as if she could've constructed a much more believable rumor, I don't even smoke pot and suddenly I'm a coke fiend? Okay. All in all it just baffles me that this is still an issue, I'm just fortunate that no one at Bridges believed it.

On an aside, it's simultaneously intriguing and terrifying and I don't know how to deal with it.

HOLY SHEET I GET TO SEE MY BFF KEITH TOMOROW. He got drunk and started texting me/being a total girl about how I wasn't excited enough to see him, so here, I'm thrilled. No seriously, he's my little jolly green giant and I've missed him very much.

Alsoooo I got the cocktailing job at Bridges, which I'm happy about, especially since I just paid rent. They told me I can wear anything I want except for flip-flops and long jeans which could not thrill me more, honestly.

I'm going to stay at Friday's though, until September at the very least. I can't believe how long I've been there, it doesn't seem that long at all.

STARSCAPE THIS WEEKEND! :)

Some people (mostly the weirdos who believe themselves to possess "indigo-colored auras") claim to be "new souls." I've also heard a select few of my peers be described as "old souls." I think my soul is middle-aged, somewhere between 32-45 in soul years with a spirit immature and reckless enough to walk on precarious balconies for absolutely no reason.

Then again, that's a rough estimate if I've ever heard one. On a seemingly unrelated sidenote, I am so, so in love with motown. Every time normal programming ends and the Motown Classics infomercial comes on TV I don't even want to change the channel.

My weekend was a whirlwind, I felt too many things all at once, I think. As I told Emil, I am "all sorts of all over the place" which is not always a bad thing, but it can be more than a little tiring.

ON THURSDAY IT'LL ONLY BE A WEEK UNTIL KEITH BAKER IS BACK WITHIN DISTANCE FOR A LONG OVERDUE JUMP-HUG.

"I don't feel like a virgin in this dress."

Really? I feel like no one would say that in seriousness. Unless the dress has a giant vibrator woven into the skirt, you should still feel perfectly pure. Shoot, girl.

Well shoot the horse and paint me red, I miss the holy hellish fuck out of you, Keith Baker. Come back to me right now. Please :[

It's astounding how someone so close to you can be so oblivious. Oh yes, I'm officially amazed, if selfishly.

I think I'm unhappy.
(Why was that so hard to say?)
I'm positive it's a phase, passing and unimportant.
What if it isn't? It is.

On a very similar note, my (not so) steely conviction is just spicing up the fun. It's been a while since I've made so many excuses (for myself as well as others) or added countless "but on the other hand..."s to every opinion I dare to formulate. Oh no, and it continues...

Fuck this. Seriously.

Between upcoming choices, shifts in various relationships and a certain degree of confusion, my life feels really off-kilter right now. It's not necessarily bad, it's just one of those things, y'know?

At this point I'm totally up for the unexpected.
At this point I'm happy to get up and walk it off.

I've been experiencing a majorly epic fail when it comes to writing every day like I promised myself.

I haven't seen or spoken to my parents [aside from one email] in almost three weeks now. My grandfather was in the hospital and I've been putting off calling, for some reason. FuckfuckFUCK I could not be a more terrible relative.

Don't get me started on my personal life. I was actually infuriated tonight after hearing what some people have been saying about me. It's not only insulting, but hideously untrue, and I'm so, so sick of people lying to my face.

My attitude has always been "I'll trust what you tell me until given solid proof to the contrary" but there are too many shady characters and complete nut-cases running around wild for me to keep that school of thought, I think.

"What is your first reaction when someone says 'I need to talk to you.'?"

I get nervous. Is there any other reaction? The degree and brand of anxiety may vary depending on the asker, specifically if the asker is an attractive guy and I happen to be available. Typically though, I immediately assume I'm in some kind of trouble.

I usually am.

Hillary's last official night tonight, at least for a while. This is sad.

Saturday was easily the worst night I've ever had at Fridays. I don't even want to talk about it, it's just going to make me angry. There are so many things I need to pay for. I nearly had a nervous breakdown in the bar after cash-out, but Mallory, Brian and Vicki sort of talked me down from the ledge.

Mallory was an A+ friend all over the board, really. She took me out to get my mind off of everything, and her friends were a trip. Some drunk guy dedicated "Carry on my Wayward Son" to me on Rockband and just kept yelling my name whenever he didn't know the words.

We stopped by Blue Iguana (despite my limits) for Emily's birthday, and wound back up at Mal's with a few people, not excluding Bridgett and the nail she broke on some "dumb slut's" face in the bar parking lot. Good times.

I've been spending alot of time with the Texas girls, Hillary in particular. It hit me the other day that I'm going to really miss her when she goes back to Tennessee. I used to think of the group as "superficial friends" which I'm starting to feel very fucking bad about, because they've been some of the only genuine female friendships I have.

I mean..I have other girlfriends, but there always seems to be something when it comes to them. My boys, my Texas girls and the occasional work friend have kept me too busy to worry about it, but when I sit down and think...it sort of makes me angry. Maybe I'm just angsty because I haven't eaten yet, but I'm over alot of people.

Work in an hour, ugh I need to make decent $$ tonight.

I am a terrible shopper. Not in the sense that I overspend or anything, I just seem to be horrendous at picking things out, putting items together and catching the crucial sales.

This excludes lingerie. I'm nothing short of brilliant there.

I was definitely supposed to write every day and I definitely slacked off. I don't think I'm going to make those days up though, we'll just go from here.

The past few days have consisted of one huge Chargers victory, a little too much celebration, some sleeping until afternoon, a bit of Keith Baker, alot of Hillary Saddler, a few days off of work, and some undeniably fun times.

To summarize, I enjoyed my weekend. Among things.

Nick and I went to some pizza place in Fair Lakes today. There were about twelve pictures of the pope looking ominous, the staff was painfully awkward and the food was absolutely delicious. The latter makes the former two more than tolerable.

I'm suddenly in dire need of Orange juice.

So dumb. SO UNBELIEVABLY DUMB.
Fuck this noise, I'm over it.

I guess I'm at fault for expecting y'all to play like grown-ups.

Bizarre. Fridays. Word-Vomit. Nearly making Michael Taylor cry. THM shenanigans and sketchy bathroom trips. Hit on by a couple. Creepy. Asian tourist. "Facebook me!" Israeli kids. Israeli male model with intensely blue eyes. Too much blue-eyed eye contact makes me anxious apparantly. I was never one for blue eyes. In Uniform when the ball dropped (Bad Omen? Fuck me.) My tits looked great though. Not gonna lie. New Year's hugs because we all hate that we're here. Peaced out. Went to party-hop and laugh at wasted friends. Laughed at wasted friends, alot. Pineapple & Rum. Porch exposure. Pics I'm sure I looked mediocre in. Lunchables? Unscathed Kool-Aid? Too tired for Melissa's, I'm sorry, I love you. Crash.


Woke up. Not at Fridays, thank God. That'd be strange. Family Friend's Chilli business. Deviled Eggs. Bounced. Amanda and Mario. Outback Steakhouse. Zack & Miri Make a Porno. Fabulosity. Drunk kids at Fat Tuesdays. Good times. I seem to like places with weekdays in their names. Bounced. Cheating by backdating this entry.

See you all in 2009.
Some of you I'm more excited to see than others, but I'll take all y'all in stride ;)

IT IS HOW IT IS.
Repeat.

I can't help but love Bret Michaels and his nonsense. I would love to "stay in his house and rock his world." FUCKIN' SKANKS.

I'm working on New Year's Eve. Wonderful. What I do after is still to be determined.

The subject title says it all! I'll finally stop wandering around an empty house having in-depth conversations with a cat!...um just kidding. Okay not so much.

Celebrations will ensue tonight.
I need my scheduale, damnit.
I wish Mallory was happier right now.
I dislike floundering.
(It's not supposed to be complicated.)
I want Rebecca to get her answers.
My leg is killing me.
Are online IQ tests legit? Doubt it.
Doubt was an incredible movie.
Whatever happened to Scrubs?

My thoughts are scattered but I am in a wonderful mood.

"THE SPARKS ARE FLYIN' AND EVERY WIN JUST TAKES YOU HIGHER!" ohh man, love may be your hippie bullshit religion, but I'm all about San Diego Charger-ism. Suck on that win, Donkeys.

In non-NFL related topics, Mal and I reunited and had a girls night. It was full of trash magazines, South Park, fruit with chocolate dip, Sam Adams Winter Lager, LOTS of female talk and we're about to watch the Bob Saget roast. I've missed this girl.

For the record, this situation is starting to bore me.